Still no word on Sora’s hat.  I wish I could keep things more upbeat in this post, but I’ve been thinking a lot about this one story Sora told me that night.  Plus, I’ve been really struggling with my mental health of late.  Oh, and I have homework and finals this week, and I’m like, “You know that people just died, right??  You may have noticed people we know and went to school with became unmoored from the Earth recently?  People are no longer attending your classes, because they are now dead?  But sure, I’ll turn in my inflation essay.”

I don’t understand how people can just act like nothing is happening.  Well, no, the people who don’t believe this is real despite all the evidence to the contrary, I understand.  They are just in denial.  (Or delusional?).

But the people who understand what’s happening and choose to live their life like everything is normal? These are the people I don’t understand, the people who make me want to scream.

Upbeat, right?

So this is the story I can’t help thinking about.  I’m recreating it best I can remember.  This isn’t verbatim, but it went something like this.

I remember struggling trying not to ask any questions in the tree.  I said something about my parents, and she said she didn’t have parents anymore.

“They kicked me out of the house when I was 16.”

“I assume it’s because you mastered childhood by that point, and were ready to level up.”

But she didn’t laugh or chuckle or even acknowledge my lame attempt at humor.  She looked so serious when she told me, “We spend the rest of our lives trying to unpack what happened to us in childhood.”

That was verbatim.  Then she told me her mom died when she was in kindergarten.  I remember that clearly as well.

She said, “When I was nine my dad remarried.  You know how wicked stepmothers are cliches?  Well, turns out cliches are cliches for a reason.”

“You were living out a Disney channel original.”  I said.  See, I thought I was being clever and not asking a question, but I should have just stayed quiet and let her talk.  That’s a lesson I’ve learned, but still have trouble following.  If someone is telling you a personal story, don’t interrupt with banality.

As it turned out Sora really was living a Cinderella life.  She said she got her period when she was nine just after her step mom moved in.  Her stepmom treated Sora like she was some kind of unclean devil.  She kept saying things like, “only a person with dirty secrets would get their period so young.”

And here I was finally smart enough to just stay quiet and let her talk.

She told me how her step mother desperately wanted a baby.  How her father and her tried for years.  How they went through all these rounds of IVF.  How once they thought it worked.  That’s when the stepmom converted Sora’s play room into a nursery.

But when she lost the baby, she didn’t let Sora have her play room back.  She said she didn’t want Sora to go into that room ever again because she would curse it.  In fact, she blamed Sora for her miscarriage.  Told her so.  Believed it was all the stress Sora caused.

Sora stood up for herself and told her, “Maybe God just doesn’t want you to have any kids.”

That was the first time she slapped Sora.

I wish I knew this wicked stepmother’s name.  Maybe Sora mentioned it, but I don’t remember.

Well, this witch fell into Sora’s dad’s arms, all in tears, distraught about what Sora said and what Sora made her do.  Sora’s dad sided with his wife, I guess?  Anyway, he didn’t do anything.  So after that the beatings became a regular thing.  And the obsessive cleaning too.  She would make Sora bathe every morning before school, and when she got home.  Sora would then have to wash her face, hands, and feet every night before bed.

Her step mother would tell her constantly she didn’t want Sora bringing the filth she did all day into her house.

See, it really was her house by now.  Then her stepmom finally did get pregnant.  Sora was 15 by then.  Her stepmom convinced her husband that Sora was running around with boys, and she was out of control, and the stress was going to make her miscarriage again.

And Sora’s father believed her.  Maybe he wanted a fresh start as well.  Here he had a new wife, a new baby on the way, and with Sora gone so was all of the baggage, regret, and sorrow that had been his last decade.

So Sora was set up in an apartment just far enough away that she’d need to call if she wanted to come over.  By 16 she stopped wanting to come over.

Okay.

Well, I did tell you it wasn’t an upbeat story.

Maybe at least you can understand why I can’t stop thinking about it.

And really, it’s just hard now to find things upbeat.  So much of the news is depressing.

Maybe I’ll talk about the music at the party next time.  It sucked too, but maybe, well, at least it won’t make you feel like you’re stuck inside a Disney channel original.

Reach out to me through the contact page if you know anything about the blue Royals’ hat.  Or if by chance you know Sora.  I’d love to hear from you.  It feels pretty lonely over here.